And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
