he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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