Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
