A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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