Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
