Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
