I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Mom said you looked used
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
And then he peed in my hair
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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