I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
