If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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