we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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