look no pants
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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