he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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