So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
