No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
