I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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