remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
