Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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