i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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