Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
