I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
