their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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