yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
