Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
