i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
