if you like me you must not know who I am
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
