i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
