I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
