We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
