we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
