yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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