If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
