I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
