woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
soo... how was my night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
