So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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