need another drink. this is the easiest way
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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