apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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