I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
