Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
