I don't think brook has ever known best
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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