i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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