do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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