On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
