Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
