Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
