I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
