my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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