Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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