I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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