This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
