my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
